what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
