Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
