it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize