last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
