Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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