she looked like the before picture.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
