Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
