Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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