And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
