glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
