i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
