Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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