I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
