Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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