He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Just pee around me
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
