At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize