this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
