I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
