the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
