I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
