ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
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