need another drink. this is the easiest way
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize