I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
