I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
