You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
