i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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