East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
