so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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