we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize