all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
