i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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