Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Randomize