i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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