On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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