Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
