Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
