Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
