We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize