found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize