Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
