She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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