i just google imaged poop.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Randomize