Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize