My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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