we're blogging at a bar
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
