Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Randomize
