just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
