I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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