Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
