Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
