so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
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