She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
