maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
