I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
His nipple licking is glorious
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