Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
