From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
