Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
