That's intense
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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