Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
