I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
