all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
