i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
