I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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