My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
