Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
