I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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