did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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