the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
