Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
