Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize