Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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